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Monday, January 28, 2013

Warning! Tasteless Joke!

I first found this oh, about 20 years ago, at realbeer.com. I've re-read it many times since then, and it always makes me laugh.

It's hard to believe there are so many ways to say "vomit".


Vomit dictionary

 
 
 A
abdominable voorheaves 
air the diced carrots (Gerd R., student.tuwien.ac.at)
alan's Psychedelic Breakfast (booda@navo.navy.mil)
animate throat-missles (mac1005.kip.apple.com)
anti-poop (mac1005.kip.apple.com)
arf (ddmodell@mailbox.syr.edu)
B
backwards bungee (slip200.sirius.com)
bad caugh (George Hau, mail.ast.cam.ac.uk)
barf
bark at ants
barking turkey (montan.dsava.com)
belch chasers (stei0302@cs.fredonia.edu)
big spit (newspig)
bit spit (garden.ucop.edu)
blanch (absolut.osf.org)
blevis (slip21.uniserve.com)
blow
blow beets
blow bile (tbyte.com)
blow breakfast
blow chow
blow chowder (aurp1a.aur.alcatel.com)
blow chunks
blow cookies (bongo.bos.locus.com)
blow din-din
blow doughnuts
blow foam
blow groceries
blow lunch
blow your eats (slip141.tus.primenet.com)
blue chip special (mark_brittell@omis.edu)
bhluuuugh (?)
boke
boot
boot camp 
bow down before the porcelain god
bowel backup (emcindoo@stimpy.acofi.edu)
brack
bring it up for a vote
brown-nose it
buick 
burping bits (PJ Lindsay)
buy my buick
C
cack (Jeff Gerstmann)
call buicks
call dinosaurs
call for huey
call the elephants (infoserv.utdallas.edu)
call to the seals (arrrrrr aaarrrrrrrrrr)
call uncle ralph
call ralph on the big white telephone (Dan Tasman)
calling jacob (dglass@inmind.com)
carl earl (tbyte.com)
call (by telphone) the holy Urlich (the sound made while vomiting) (carljk@algonet.se)
catch it on the rebound
chandu (rchandra%hss@lando.hns.com)
Cheektowaga scream (Dan Tasman)
chuck a pizza
chuckle (regmap2.dme.nt.gov.au)
chum (Aaron, buccaneer.snm.com)
chunder
chunderspew
chunderspew
clean house
clearing your throat the easy way (rap@hooked.net)
churn (avon.x.co.uk)
commode hugging
cookin' for the cafeteria (lemma.res.jhu.edu)
copiously cough one's cookies (tbyte.com)
coughing chunks (next30-17.dev.oclc.org)
curl and hurl (tbyte.com)
D
decorate pavement
deliver street pizza
den heiligen Ulrich anrufen (carljk@algonet.se)
disgorge
divulge dinner
don ho heave (cuchulainn.stsci.edu)
drain the main
dribble phlem
drive the porcelain bus
drop chowder (Ilsae@echonyc.com)
dry boke
dump core (montan.dsava.com)
E
earl 
eating backwards (Tom Silva)
effusing the night's excess (tbyte.com)
F
facial diarrhea (Adam_Fukushima@engr.arc.nasa.gov)
fecal burp (Rich Haddock, novell.com)
feed the birds (pc101.siba.fi)
feed the fish, ducks
feed the houseplants
feed your young
fertilize the sidewalk
fill up the Tory swimming pool (George Hau, mail.ast.cam.ac.uk)
fling floor pie (chardonnay.harvard.edu)
food escape! (Dave @derby.ac.uk)
food flight (onet2.cup.hp.com)
fubar (voon.ee.cooper.edu)
G
gack
gag
get a refund on your lunch (jayg@sccsi.com)
give an oral sacrifice at the altar of the porcelain god
go to europe with ralph and earl in a buick
growling splash monkey (hale-mac36.wa.com)
H
hack it out (hake.cs.washington.edu)
hack'n bile (hake.cs.washington.edu)
hack some stew (veloce.pica.army.mil)
have a school lunch rerun (e8925292@student.tuwien.ac.at)
ham hawking (PJ Lindsay)
hawk (garden.ucop.edu)
heave 
heccccchluuug (Gary Love, raven.csrv.uidaho.edu)
hiccup from hell (mdexter.tiac.net)
hock up a furball (krypton.che.ilstu.edu)
honk (dave_oshea@wiltel.com)
hooverin' (Jeff Meade)
horfing it up (170.110.200.124)
hork
huey
hug the porcelain wishing well
hurl
hurling projectile material with or without chunks (ELLEN HANRAHAN)
I
induce antiperistalsis
inverse gut
involuntary personal protein spill
J
jump shot
K
kissing the can (Brent Sonnek-Schmelz) 
kotsen/kotzen (oscar@gewis.win.tue.nl) 
kneel before the porcelain throne
L
lap lung butter (ceth.princeton.edu)
lateral cookie toss
laugh at the carpet
laugh at the lawn
laugh at your shoes (voon.ee.cooper.edu)
launch lunch
leave lunch
liquid laugh
liquid scream
liquidate your assets
look for o'rourke
lose flourescent christmas cheer
lose some chopped carrots
lose weight
lose your lunch
lunch
lurch (cha.j.y%wec@dialcom.tymnet.com)
M
make a (technicolor) tribute to disney
make an offering to the porcelain god
make chowder (tbyte.com)
make a crustless pizza (greg@illustra.com)
make food offerings to the china gods
make pavement asterisks (perogy.cs.umanitoba.ca)
make the oatmeal hit the wall (dmiller.prentrom.com)
meet my friends ralph and earl
mug the hurpey (laser.2@osu.edu)
multi-colored yawn (Bob Torres, tsppp10.cac.psu.edu)
N
negative chug
O
offer a sacrifice to ralph, the porcelain god
order buicks over the big white phone
organ recital (c00805-247dan.eos.ncsu.edu)
organic output
out of stomach experience (regmap2.dme.nt.gov.au)
P
parbreake
pavement pizza
paint one's trousers (194.20.36.52)
paint the back seat (voon.ee.cooper.edu)
park a tiger (dcrodjers.bt-sys.bt.co.uk)
park a buick (jax.jaxnet.com)
plant beets
play the whale (regmap2.dme.nt.gov.au)
pop a gastric zit (tbyte.com)
porcelain projectiles (Ken Williamson)
pour one's overindulgence (tbyte.com)
povracati (ivana@mit.edu)
power barf
power boot
pray at the porcelain altar
pray to the porcelain goddess
pray to the porcelain gods 
praying to the porcelain princess
preach it to the congregation (batespc1.interbase.borland.com)
prepare dinner for a racist (George Hau, mail.ast.cam.ac.uk)
projectile style (garden.ucop.edu)
protein spill
psychadelic spit
puke
Q
quake one's gizzard (tbyte.com)
quease (tbyte.com)
R
rainbow fountain (ddmodell@mailbox.syr.edu)
rainbow kiss (bonkers.neosoft.com)
regurgitate
ralph
read the toilet
recycle your lunch (stei0302@cs.fredonia.edu)
regurgitate
retch
return the tripe (n.jacklin@hud.ac.uk)
reverse diarrhea
reverse drink
reverse gears
reverse gut
reverse peristalsis
ride the regurgitron
rope på elgen --- Norwegian: call the moose (wikne@lynx.uio.no)
round trip meal ticket
S
screaming at the ants (192.215.42.2)
scream cookies
sell a buick
sell cars (fooooorrrrd!!! buuuuuuiiiccccckkkk! hyuuuundai!!!!)
shaq-fu (sparky)
shout at your shoes
shout europe at the sink
shouting to Huey and Ralph
shunder (sean@vinny.csd.mu.edu)
shpew (ts3-30.upenn.edu)
sing lunch
sing psychedelic praises to the depths of the china bowl
sing to the sink
slam barf
snarf (aka: vomit via nasal passages) (veloce.pica.army.mil)
sneeze cheeze
sneeze chunks
soul coughing (netcom2.netcom.com)
spew
spew chunks (Matthew, snm.com)
spew snacks
spew spuds
spew the wild oats (ronald.tozzie@industry.net)
spill the groceries
spill your life story (sunlab45.essex.ac.uk)
spit cheese (tbyte.com)
splash your hash (ttacs3.ttu.edu)
split pea spew (slagdor@crl.com)
stomach overflow error (wsbusup4@urc.tue.nl)
sprout (rum.ee.umanitoba.ca)
T
talk to god on the big white telephone
talk to huey down the big white telephone.
talk to john on the porcelain telephone
talk to ralph on the big white telephone
talk to rrraaalllfffff on the camode-a-phone
talk to the carpet
talk to your shoes (Jeff Gerstmann)
taste dinner
tastes even better the second time (trentu.ca)
taste lunch twice (Jjperry@cs.ucla.edu)
technicolor yawn 
technicolor yodel
the big spit
the brooklyn mating call
the jersey yodel
throw dinner
throw up (voter-classroom-ethernet-11.middlebury.edu)
throw your voice (regmap2.dme.nt.gov.au)
thunder-chunder rainbow parfait
toilet bowl love (Brent Sonnek-Schmelz) 
toss your cookies
toss your tacos
turn your guts inside out (silva) 
tuna salad swimming upstream (cithe308.cithep.caltech.edu) 
U
uebergeben (tar_ddkc@aix1.danadata.dk)
uke (from my husband,bill @ kitkat.admin.utk.edu)
ulrik (tar_ddkc@aix1.danadata.dk)
un-eat
upchuck
V
vector-spew
visible burp (mitchell@ug.cs.dal.ca)
vomit
W
warhol wail (kburchil@gtis.gc.ca)
waste good beer (zeus.cooper.edu)
whistling beef (skeezics@teleport.com)
wolf
woof 
worf (BucsknBrns@aol.com)
worship at the porcelain altar
worship the porcelain god
worhip ralph at the great procelain throne (George Dorn)
wretch 
wyatt erp (cuchulainn.stsci.edu)
Y
yak
yark (Shan)
yatch 
yawn for the hearing impaired (micro5.microbiol.washington.edu)
yeech
yell at the ground
yell for hughie
yodel (ntssun2.ug.eds.com)
york
yorkel (phobos.rm.fccc.edu)
yorp (lan10.ec-nantes.fr)
yuke

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