My father passed away on February 2, 2016. I loved him. I miss him. I think I always will.
I have no idea if anyone else feels this way. I don't know if anyone else has ever felt this way. But, I know how I feel right now, and, well, there are better ways to feel.
Please, don't misunderstand. I'm not a danger to myself, or anyone around me. I don't intend to do anything stupid. (Or at least, any stupider than the stuff I normally do.)
It's just that, at times, even if I'm really enjoying myself, I look around, and he's not there. I'm 62, and he's always been there. The feeling that my dad isn't here, and never will be again, leaves...something. A void? A hole? An emptiness, yes, an emptiness. A very important piece of my life is suddenly missing.
My full name is Joseph Michael Labeck, Junior. I carry far more than my dad's name. So much of what he was, how he felt, how he related to people, is here in me. I have often said that there were three major influences on my life. First on the list was always Dad.
I've always loved you, Dad. I'll always miss you. I always wanted you to be proud of me, and I'll never stop trying.