One thing that has changed this year is that I am finally coming to accept myself as disabled. I think that's a plus. It relaxes some turmoil in my brain, and allows me to see myself for what I really am. Also, I can let go of the things I can no longer do, and find new roads to follow.
I was prodded to write about the things that were no longer part of my life. Why did they matter? Why does it matter that they"re gone?
My 64th birthday is 9/11/17. From high school to the turn of the century, I enjoyed bowling, both alone, and as part of a team. The competition was only partially against the opposing team. Part of it was against the pins, the lane, my last game.
I enjoyed the competition, especially in close games, where every frame, every ball, could change the course of the match. If you have never gone through the experience, the feeling if very difficult to describe. I really enjoyed being a teammate you could depend on. I would get up for my turn, and get told, "Joe, we need this strike (spare, pin)." Being the person a match could turn on was a feeling I will always treasure.
There are sounds and feelings that will always stay with me. There's the soft "thunk" when you lay the ball perfectly on the lane, the sound of the ball as it rolls and spins its way to the pins. When the ball hits the pins, right in the 1-3 pocket, there's a sound that I remember fondly, but can't really describe. All the pins hitting each other, and falling down, in a fraction of a second, is a great sporting moment, and one I'm glad I got to experience.
Was I a great bowler? Not even close. There were many many others, much better than I. I'm very happy to say that, at times, I was pretty good. It's now part of my past, my memories. But, they're good memories, and ones that will always make me smile.
For my next installment, I want to write about the outdoors. There are a whole bunch of activities that are now beyond my capabilities.
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